But you can. Especially if your community is there to help. All help is self-help, multiplied by the expectations, support and compassion of the people around you.
Willpower and self-control are a mystery–we’re influenced far more by our situation, by the culture around us and by everything that’s come before. A mechanistic view of a physical entity shows that we’re turtles all the way down–atoms and electricity, each on a path. Golf balls don’t have self control, they simply follow a trajectory. And yet… each of us apparently has the ability to exercise agency and to work to solve the problems we confront. We talk to others and to ourselves, and shifting those conversations can shift the actions we take.
The best books in the genre help us get to where we hope to go. They turn on a light or help us understand a way of thinking that gets us unstuck.
Tomorrow, The Knot goes to people around the world. It’s aimed directly at the stuck we often find ourselves in. I’m confident that the book itself won’t do much of anything, but combined with conversations and the shifts we can each make, I’m hopeful it will help people get to where they need to go.
That’s a lot to ask from a short book, but it’s already had an impact on thousands of people. Thank you for showing up to make things better. Knowing that better is possible is a great first step.