Any gathering of more than two people involves compromise.
Embracing this fact actually increases the utility of the event. It’s a trap to commit to making it perfect for everyone–we end up sacrificing what the event could be and creating mediocrity instead.
A surprise party might be designed to make the host feel good, or perhaps to create a memorable moment for the guest of honor. The wedding might exist to cement the status and relationships of the bride. The quarterly management meeting is probably organized to increase the security and power of the boss.
There’s a reason that they don’t serve “wedding food” at restaurants. The food is a compromise, not the sort of thing people seek out.
When planning any event, the first two questions are the most important, and they need to be repeated, again and again:
Who’s it for?
What’s it for?
If we can be clear about that, we can make progress in making it happen.