A sea slug sees far more colors than you do, and you probably see more than a profoundly color-blind person.
Who’s right?
We each carry our own version of reality, our own story about what happened, what’s around us and how things work.
Our chosen reality serves two useful purposes:
First, it binds us to the others in our circle. If you seek to communicate, speaking Esperanto in Nashville isn’t going to help very much–you do better assuming, as others do, that English is standard. On the other hand, going to a Flat Earth convention and insisting on the truth of our planet’s shape won’t earn you the sort of camaraderie you were hoping for.
[Cults are cults because they demand a shared story that doesn’t align with a useful, generative, positive version of reality, and so they harm the members and eventually hit the wall.]
Second, and more important, it’s a useful way to get what we want. When reality cooperates with our narrative and our goals, we’re more likely to get to where we’re going. Wishful thinking doesn’t lead to successful skydiving, a working parachute does.
[There are lots of benefits, short and long term, for creating a particular story. It might make us feel powerful, or like a victim. It might let us off the hook or it might offer us energy and drama. Some stories amplify status, others are fuel. “How’s that working out for you?” is a great question when exploring a version of reality.]
So, how is your narrative working out? Is your story about the past and the way the world works amplifying your connections and progress? Because reality doesn’t mind showing up when we least want it to. Gravity isn’t just a good idea, it’s the law.
We invent stories, that’s the only way they occur. And most of our stories are about what happened and why.
If your story serves you and those you care about, that’s great. If it persists, it’s probably close to what really happened. But if it’s not working for you, or continues to surprise you when it bumps into the rest of the world, hold it lightly enough to change it.
The best way to get to a more accurate version of reality is to share your assumptions, show your work and change the story based on useful feedback. When we reject narratives that are counter to our story before we even bother to consider them, our story is getting in the way of our path to better.