Do you remember your first birthday party? That’s pretty unlikely, even if you have pictures to remind you.
So what’s all the hoopla for? Why the cake and the pony and the rest?
It’s pretty clear that it wasn’t for you. It was for your parents and their circle of supporters and friends. A rite of passage and thanks and relief, all in one.
Many of the interactions we have that are ostensibly for us are actually for other people. Once we can see who it’s for, it’s a lot easier to do it well.